Like many people seeking to improve our lives or heal old wounds, I have sought out self-help books and many other resources over the years. Some ideas have been very helpful over the long term. Many, either helped me short term, or truthfully, not at all. One practice, that has stuck with me over the years, is the practice of using daily affirmations.

Let’s start by talking about what affirmations are.

I’ll define an affirmation as a positive statement that demonstrates faith that you can overcome something negative. Affirmations are statements that I use to emphasize something good in my life. It’s a way to speak about something I am trying to improve or bring into existence.

When it comes to affirmations, there are many schools of thought, some authors and speakers preach going big. They believe that if you aren’t going big, then you are showing a lack of faith. Others create affirmations that are often complex and require effort to remember and make sense of.

I believe they should be simple, practical and believable…to you. After all, you are the one that is saying the affirmation, and it should be very personal to you and you alone.

Before we work on how to be effective with them, why do them at all?

There have been times in my life where I have been in very toxic environments. For example, at my place of work. It’s easy to be infected by others if they are carrying negative emotions and saying toxic things at the office. I have often walked, or I should say RAN way from those people, but there are times when a situation doesn’t allow me to leave, and I become part of it. Positive affirmations can help me battle those toxic relationships and situations. By having positive thoughts running through my head, they help me defend against the wear and tear that negative vibes have on me. Don’t get me wrong it’s not as if I don’t have those days, where I need to vent and get some of those negative thoughts out into the open, it’s probably good for me. But I can’t let there be more negative and damaging thoughts running around in my head than positive happy and loving thoughts.

It’s funny how there are times when I’m in the middle of something that isn’t benefiting me, and one of my affirmations pop up out of nowhere to remind me to get back on track. They will often help me pause and take a better action or put something into perspective…

Affirmations aren’t meant only for handling negative situations. They are a fantastic tool to use to create momentum and a healthy environment for yourself. You can change perceptions and truly improve yourself.

What are some things that you have been saying about yourself your whole life anyway…where did that come from?  Do you say it to others or is it purely self-talk in your head? Why do you say it?

For me, my struggle has largely been with self-worth, and the feeling I am not good enough, or that I am an imposter, a pretender. Where did that come from? Well, in my case, it’s fair to say it came from my childhood. I was on the heavy side, a little clumsy, and probably a little gullible in a child-like way. Many adults in my life didn’t have kind things to say to me. I suffered from different types of abuse, and after a while, that will take its toll on anyone. I was a blank page for adults in my life to write on…and they certainly did. Things that they said and did to me left lifelong impressions on my emotional state. Although this conversation today, is not to dig into the specifics of my childhood, it’s important to note, that those we grew up with had a tremendous impact as to who we have become. Their words and actions largely influenced the way we think about ourselves. Think about it, as a child, what other frame of reference did we have? If the people in your life when you are growing up are not considerate of the things, they say to you as you are growing and developing, then they could do a lot of damage. On the flip side, it’s great if you were surrounded by adults that had positive and loving things to say to you. Perhaps you had adults that understood how to encourage you and support you. If you did, then chances are you were given the opportunity to have a head start on living a happy and fulfilled life.

To bring this back to affirmations, we can think of the people in our life that said we were no good or shamed us or said we were dumb or stupid or useless as the negative thoughts we may have in our life, or the negative situations we sometimes find ourselves in. The way to defeat negative thoughts that may still linger with you as an adult is by creating positive affirmations that counter those thoughts, and then fill up your mind till there is no more room for the negative ones. It takes some effort, but we all can do it.

I have some ideas on how to create the affirmations that are perfect for each of us individually.

The funny thing about positive affirmations, is that sometimes, I don’t want to say them. Sometimes, it is easier to sit in misery or feel sorry for myself. There is something familiar about feeling bad. However, I have learned that the pendulum swings both ways. If I let myself sit too long in a miserable feeling, then it becomes harder to get out of it, and likewise, if I can get some momentum going in a positive direction then I can keep it going that way for a while as well.

 To develop good affirmations, I believe in starting small.

Affirmations that don’t work are the ones that are impractical, out of touch or unrealistic…. they need to make sense and you need to believe that it is or can be true for you. They need to be grounded in reality and not something that is so ridiculously farfetched it only frustrates you.

Let’s break down one or two simple ones
For Example:

Let’s use “I am the best me that I can be”

Is it practical and realistic? Yes, it is. I say this one often. There is nothing in that statement that is fantasy in nature. What does it take for me to be my best? For me it means being thoughtful. It means not quitting. It means not putting myself down. All practical and realistic.

Is it believable? Sure, it gives me permission to be me, just me. I don’t have to be like anyone else. I can just be the best version of me. We are all unique individuals, so it is easy for me to believe that I can always try to be the best I can.

Is it true or can it be? Absolutely. Remember, in this life, we constantly have the ability to start fresh and start over in every new moment we live in. So even if I wasn’t at my best for a short time, I have the chance to start fresh immediately.
Another one I use:
“I do good things each and every day and everything I do attracts good things to me”

Is it believable? Yes, if you are living your life doing good things for others, even in small ways, why would you have any reason to believe you are not creating good Karma for yourself. I don’t look for payback for good deeds, but I often find myself being lucky with parking spaces, arriving seconds before the line at the counter gets long, or enjoying other small benefits along the way each day. (although I must admit, I still haven’t figured out what good deed counters traffic jams)

Is it practical and realistic? I think so. It’s not hard to imagine doing something good for someone else. Holding the door open, paying a sincere compliment, or just offering a kind word. Good things don’t have to be grandiose. A bunch of small efforts add up quickly.

Is it true or can it be? Yes, it can be true. Doing good things each day as we live our life and then receiving good during the day is certainly achievable. This affirmation reminds me to be on the lookout for opportunities to do something good, as well as to be open to receive something good.

These are examples of simple affirmations that can improve your thought process and your life. If you don’t already say affirmations, I encourage you to start small, develop ones that address a negative issue in your life. Start by writing them down each morning in a private notepad of your own. Repetition is key here. In time, you will no doubt adjust these and start to add more. Keep the notebook as long as you need. Be patient and consistent. There will come a time when you say them as soon as your eyes open in the morning…like me.