Starting this blog is one of the most challenging things that I’ve ever done. But it is something that I must do. There has been a little voice encouraging me to create something, anything at all. It’s been after me for a very long time. My plan is to make up for all the years that I didn’t pay attention to it. I missed the signals and the signs to get out and do something like this, to create. I became so wrapped up in corporate life and paying bills that I forgot to check in on my happiness. I have realized, that it is not too late. I have also come to understand, that the pain of regret is far worse than the fear of failure. The way I see it now, is that I can’t fail anymore in life, only learn. I meet people all the time that are so wrapped up in the daily grind of work and life that they don’t find joy in anything. I don’t want to die with a song in my heart so I’m doing my best to express myself while I can.

My four kids are now grown and have been truly a blessing for me. I love and respect them dearly. I haven’t had a truly romantic relationship in quite a while and for many that would be devastating but it has taught me not to rely on anyone else to make me happy, and I know that I alone am responsible for my happiness. My life, like most isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. I am always learning how to make the best of every situation. We can learn a lot from each other. We just need to be open and honest with ourselves, and our experience can be a wonderful teacher.

There were several obstacles I had to overcome to get started. The biggest one was overcoming the fear of putting myself out there somewhat more publicly than Instagram or Facebook or any of the other forms of social media. On those platforms it’s a little easier because everybody’s writing about their family events and whatever other activities are going on. Many just posting pictures of what they’re doing on a daily basis. And increasingly, many use it as platform to influence others or simply express opinions. Those are easy and potentially engaging. But I felt the need to venture out and do something a little different.  Setting up my own website to share some stories, really exposes me. If I used poor grammar or a run-on sentence on a shared site, no one really minds, but here on my own, I can very easily expose myself as a poor writer. I could come off as an absolute bore or portray myself as someone who doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I may even say something that could totally turn people off or discredit myself.

 I had to overcome that fear of stepping out. There was one statement that I’ve heard several times over the years that started to get stronger and stronger in my head. I apologize, as I don’t know where it specifically originated from, but it goes like this “You will worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” Go back and read it again. That is a powerful statement. That is one of the most freeing thoughts I have ever had.  Think about it for a second, for anyone that knows me and is reading this, how many times have you thought about me today? How many times this week? This month? Probably not much, unless you have some strange fascination with me.  And if you did think about me, I bet it was something in a practical sense or you may have been wondering how I’m doing. Don’t be offended, but I don’t spend a whole lot of my time thinking about you either. But when I do think about my family or friends, it’s always a thought of “Hey, I wonder how so and so is…I’ve got give him a call one of these days…” or it goes back to a fond memory or if I hear someone has a challenge, then I mention them in a prayer or generally include them when I express my gratitude every morning. I don’t go over and over in my head thinking about something they are doing for their career or for elsewhere in life. Even if they do something that’s odd, I just shrug my shoulders and move on. I realize now, that we all basically think the same way in our lives, and I’m sure you agree. I doubt very much, that you spend your time mulling over something I say now or said in the past. If you do, then that is really an issue you must deal with, not me. I simply had to overcome that fear of whether you were going to think less of me or if I was going to fail on here and look silly, and now I’m convinced that most people whether you know me or not, would not be rooting for me to fail, nor care very much if I was incredibly successful.  I’m sure you’d be happy for me, but you have your own life to deal with.

            I concluded many of the negative voices I heard in my head were mostly made up to fit some narrative of myself that didn’t exist. The same may be true for you. It could be a culmination of events or people from our past that perhaps did not have a positive effect on us. But the good news, is that’s all in the past and means nothing now. Moving forward, You and I have a chance, no matter how old or young we are to change direction and go do things that make us happy and give us a sense of fulfillment. We truly don’t have to be concerned with what anyone else thinks about it except ourselves.

I had to try and so here I am. I’ll put up content that I like, that I want to write about. I’ll share things that I enjoy and  pictures that I like and if you want to join me for this journey, wonderful! If for some reason you’re either too busy or you don’t like what I have to say or do, it’s okay because that’s your right. It just took me some time to accept that and to not be so self-absorbed and care so much about what anyone else thinks of me and what I do.

Writing is therapy for me in a sense, and my hope is that I somehow help, encourage or inspire you in some meaningful way to go do your thing too!  Don’t use what others think as an excuse. Don’t leave this place with a song buried in your heart.  Share whatever it is and have some fun on this journey… just be careful you don’t poke an eye out or something like that.